Pattered by rain drops

May 19th, 2005

Ever have one of those days where it's not a bad day because nothing has gone wrong or nothing is out of the ordinary, but you just don't feel like you really want to be a part of any of it? I had a ok day at work, again nothing out of the ordinary, just doing my thing out in the dining room. Ron was running around trying his best to perfect the already perfect restaurant for a special VIP guest tonight. Everyone else was doing thier jobs and being normal and working hard. Maybe it's all of the rain. I love the rain, and it's been stormy and gusty the past two days. It just wears me out sometimes. I even slept well last night and got up and got ready for work in a good mood. I bought my very own travel mug so i could make tea or coffee and enjoy it on my commute. I even had a very filling bowl of oatmeal. I was also wearing a dress and sandles, so i was very springy and cheery looking as well. Once I got to woodinville i was the first to arrive (Carrie had been in but was at the Thurs. morning meeting at willows) so i did a few open the restaurant things like tidying up and sweeping the entrance. Sally came in next and is always a treat to see. She's always happy and seems happy to see you. I like her so much. When I was sweeping the front walkway outside, Rachel, our new pastry chef arrived, and she is a very cheery person as well. So as far as the first few hours of my day went, everything was peachy. There were some changes made to the layout of the dining room for tonights dinner, which again isn't unusual or bad in anyway. I got to work early enough to have enough time to be as detailed as i wanted and have a low stress day. But sometimes when you know that a VIP that means so much to someone there can be a underlying stress that you don't really realize. and maybe that's it. I kept feeling myself trying to make things perfect for Ron. I just know how much these two days mean to Ron and Christine and the Herbfarm for that matter. I was talking to Christine right before I left to go home and I suppose that started to bring me down a little. She asked if I had talked to my brother Tom about how Carrie had asked Thomas to come and APPLY for the server position at the HF. It pissed me off. That just seems so rude to say "hey, I know you've done the job, people here like you, you know the business well, and I think that since I'm extremly desperate I think I'll ask my genious nephew to come and APPLY, instead of " Hey Thomas why don't you come work with us, I know you are good at what you do and it would be great for both of us. How about i make it worth your while and you come back and work with us!" She just pushes people away and takes advantage of very nice people that turns them into hurt people and makes me just want to take all I can from her instead of, I don't even know what. AND on top of that, all of the service staff this past paycheck got a nice little bonus in thier checks for the past few weeks of being busy. No cooks got the bump, no pantry stewards, no office staff, no dishwashers/prep cooks, no dining room set up girl. Just service staff because they were bitching that they were understaffed, which they were, but so was everyone else! I guess that's why I'm pissed off, carrie, again. I'm glad that the servers are getting attention because otherwise they will walk. But me getting my little payraise is almost a kick in the ass when they are getting bonus checks for friday the 13th and then another in the paycheck. I said something to Christine that at the time just flew out of my mouth without thinking too much about it. BUT I said that i was planning on working my ass off the next 6 months and show them how much they need me, and then go in and see what she offers as far as pay, also tell her that if i'm not shown enough love that i should move on and go to school and start doing something with my life because making under 13 dollars an hour isn't what a 25 year old woman should be makng. Let alone be setting tables and being called a set up girl. For Ron being so into titles seems like he would give me something a little more interesting that Dining Room Pre-Set. I guesswhat I'm getting at is that i just don't really feel appreciated the way I would like to be. Not that i don't feel welcome or appreciated by my co-workers, I do. But Management SUCKS! she is so cheap in areas where she should spend a little more and extravagant in areas where it just doesn't make sense. She is a great business person in some way and just HORRIBLE in many others. And it seems like she thinks that she is joking with people and being sarcastic, but she doesn't know how to pull the whole thing off and it just makes her odd and i don't like to be around her and I'm uncomfortable. I just don't know. And I'm getting so fat, and ugly, and gross! BUT! the silver lining in that is that i'm also getting healthier arthritis wise. It's a hard line to pull, I'm failing as of now.

I'm getting weaker,

Anne